Quiet Desperation

“Most men lead lives of quiet desperation, and go to the grave with the song still in them.” — Henry David Thoreau

As I reflect back upon another year passed, I become disgusted with myself. My saliva changes taste and I am welcomed by an overwhelming feeling nausea.

Another year has passed.

Another year wasted as a failure.

Not one goal for 2008 accomplished even though ALL were attainable. All I have to show for it is a vast amount of porno and knowledge of weird, useless facts, the result of spending hours on Wikipedia.

I take a few deep breaths, the last exhale is accompanied by all of the negativity built up inside of me….

*Whew*

That felt good.

I now have two choices: either I continue to live in mediocrity, as a lazy ambition-less sack of shit or I learn to change my habits and become the superstar that I know I can be. I choose the latter because the former leads to negative thinking, suicide, yada yada yada.

I am reminded of the New Deal, a plan that I had set out for myself back in May. I wrote down my goals, down to minutiae, and set out time frames to accomplish them. I was motivated. The New Deal plan lasted for two weeks… then I regressed.

When you fall off of the horse, you dust yourself off, and you get back on.

My friends, I am back on the horse. I will return tomorrow with new goals.

These are exciting times.

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