The Broken Record

“I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying.” – Michael Jordan

I feel melancholy right now.

I could describe what happened tonight, but I would sound like a broken record, repeating the SAME MISTAKES that I’ve been typing about for the past month plus I have been keeping this daily blog. The reality is, that I’ve been repeating this mistake much longer than a month and a half, I have been repeating it since I was 13 years old.

I am talking about the mistake of inaction.

I just don’t know what to do, I go out with the best of intentions, “yeah I’m going to go all out, talk to girls tonight,” but then when I do go out, I sit on the side in fear. This has been the case in the past two years since I read the game and really got into PUA shit, and it was the case since I started going to parties at 18 years old.

The part that really frustrates me, is that I’m not too angry at myself. I always say, “oh, you’ll get ’em next time.” But I know that next time will probably be much like this time. It’s not that I don’t want this to change, I wouldn’t have started this blog or done a TON of things if I didn’t want it to change, I just don’t know how to stop myself from making the same mistakes over and over again.

I feel horrible. I’ll give a more detailed run down of my night tomorrow.  For right now, just know that inaction HAS to stop. It is simply not acceptable anymore. I am going to sit here and maybe cry, but I am going to think of ways to FORCE myself to change, because what I’ve been doing in the past hasn’t worked.

Ugh, I can’t accept not trying either, Michael.

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