Went out tonight with Hero for the first time in a long time.
For the past 10 months, I had only been to local bars and strip clubs, choosing to get fucked up rather than go places with lots of women to talk to. When I stepped into the club, it was total sensory overload-the blaring music, the ridiculous girl, the setting… I was scared shitless.
Hero opened a few sets and I winged him. I literally ran away from the first one, he stays in his sets long past the point of awkwardness, I just couldn’t take it anymore. Later, I forced myself to stick in there, coming to the conclusion, “fuck these people!” Why do I give them more value than they are worth? Why do I just assume that people are BETTER than me?
No, I didn’t open any sets on my own, but I do feel better about myself because I moved in a positive direction tonight. I had been avoiding going out like this for a long long time, and felt like something was missing from my life as a result. Would I have felt a lot better if I opened? FUCK YEAH!
But there will be a tomorrow. I can’t dwell on the past now. I need to buckle down and just start opening my mouth, something good will come out eventually. The women need me, they just don’t know it yet. I really don’t have any other options, I MUST become successful with women. My life will always feel empty if I don’t. Not saying my mindstate is anywhere near this guys, but I can understand the frustration. What is sad is that he didn’t know that he could change his situation. What is great is that I know I can.
I am going to re-state my goals tomorrow.