Category Archives: The Best Year of My Life

The Best Year of My Life (part 7)

“Goals are not only absolutely necessary to motivate us. They are essential to really keep us alive.” – Robert Schuller

What a difference a title makes.

These are actually my most popular posts. I’m pretty sure it’s just because of the title, but in reality these posts are just simple goal reviews that I do once or twice a week.

I’d say that the past couple of days have been great for me in terms of productivity. The key to my success is in implementing a morning routine. Every morning for the past week, I have woke up meditated, then eaten breakfast. Three days ago, I added simple exercises to the routine. Two days ago, I decided to try to try and write rhymes for at least an hour everyday.

This was all inspired by Steven Pressfield’s The War of Art.

I use JoesGoals and tick off every little task that I do. It’s great to see nothing but green marks on the screen everyday.

I started using RescueTime to track just where all of my time is going when I’m online. Not surprisingly, most of my time is actually spent reading blogs. However, I find that if I take care of everything I need to BEFORE I check the blogs, then the amount of time is drastically reduced.

It’s these minor tweaks that really help a lot.

Without further ado:

1. Develop Attraction Skills

I got a number this weekend, which brings me up to 4 this year out of 6 weeks overall. Which is good for me since I am pretty sure that I’ve equaled my output for all of last year. The number was a wrong one, so I really shouldn’t count it.

This past Saturday sucked balls in terms of doing what I need to do when I go out. I am no longer going to get a beer until I’ve at least said a sentence to a girl I don’t know. Yeah, let’s apply the success I’ve had getting stuff done at the beginning of the day to PUA.

2. Look for New Job

The truth here is that I am really enjoying not working. Not in the lazy sense, because I keep myself active pretty much all day. I woke up at 10AM today, and worked straight through until about 5PM. Took a nap and took care of some more business. I believe that I should be able to last another month or so living comfortably, so I will probably just do that.

I do not want to go back working for the man. I am going to have to formulate a plan that prevents me from doing that.

3. Better Management of $$$

I was good at saving my money all week, then I went to this Brazillian restaurant on Saturday. This was a once in a lifetime experience, and I figured I should splurge on myself every so often.

Notice that I have whittled down my goals to 3, but have actually added other ones that I previously crossed out? Meditation, write rhymes, and exercise used to all be on my list, and I now do them all daily. It seems that once I let go of some goals that they become something that comes naturally into my life.

Until next week.

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The Best Year of My Life (part 6)

“If you are not making the progress that you would like to make and are capable of making, it is simply because your goals are not clearly defined.” – Paul J. Meyer

Okay, so we’re a month into 2009 now, was January one of the best months of your life?

Let’s take a look at things:

I feel 1000 times better ever since I quit my job, but being unemployed has its own problems. I am not in a negative mindset where I am wondering what the FUCK I am doing with my life anymore. No, I am certainly not nearly as depressed as I once was, but I am constantly wondering where my next meal will come from.

As far as women go, it’s nice having the redhead to talk to everyday, and chillin’ with HipsterGirl every so often. Having multiple girls in my life is unprecedented, but I do feel like I could be doing so much more.

I didn’t meditate nearly as much as I wanted to, but I did consistently write in my blog for the whole month. Having a daily slap in the face is beneficial.

So yes, January was actually a great month for me, but do I feel like I am at the place where I need to be? Absolutely not.

Plus the Pittsburgh Steelers won the Super Bowl! 🙂 🙂 🙂

Without further ado:

1. Develop Attraction Skills

This past weekend was bad for me. I didn’t accomplish any of the goals I set out for myself. I drank too much on Friday and it affected my mood on both Saturday and Sunday.

This weekend, I am going to cut down on the drinking partly because I just cannot afford to put it in too hard, but also because it is affecting whether I open or not. I have committed to going out three days (Thursday, Friday, and Saturday).

2. Learn How to Drive

I am considering crossing this goal out.

Yesterday, Hero said that it’s pointless for me to learn if I don’t have a car to drive once I get the license. I countered with the belief that once I get the license, I will be more apt to get a car. It’s like the chicken or the egg discussion.

Still, Hero is on vacation this week, so no practice until he gets back. I could ask my friends, but King Lear’s car is broken, and The Roommate… oh, I guess I should be getting at him, shouldn’t I? He is a busy dude, though!

3. Look for New Job

I went hard at this yesterday. Not in the conventional sense, though.

I started researching different avenues by which I can make money online, from the comfort of my own home. It’s not that hard by most accounts but it does take time, patience,  and capital.

I have maybe a month before I run out of money and that is not enough time to start earning a sustainable salary, so I am applying for jobs. I have lost the total ambition to go back and work for the man, though.

There HAS to be a light at the end of this tunnel!

4. Better Management of $$$

Sunday through Wednesday I spent a combined total of maybe $40. Thursday through Sunday I spent a good $100.This includes eating out twice on both Saturday and Sunday. On Saturday I had pre-planned dates, but on Sunday I should have known better.

Still, my bills are paid for the month and I cancelled a few services. Hopefully, once my taxes are filed I should be able to make it through the end of March.

5. Take the GRE

Have not done at all. Embarassing. Better planning is in order.

Okay, see you guys later this week.

The Best Year of My Life (part 5)

I just had a goals update two days ago, but in an effort to get back on track, I am going to have another one today.

Remember, I re-did a lot of my goals after reading Leo Babauta’s The Power of Less, and coupled with the short time between the last update, this should be a shorter post.

Without further ado:

1. Develop Attraction Skills

Even though I am unemployed, I haven’t increased my social life because I do not want to spend money. Sure, I can go out and simply not drink which I’ve done in the past, but it will still involve money. This is going to be a longer weekend so I will have ample opportunity to go out.

When I do go out, I will remember to be present, confident, and just an overall fun guy. After all, it’s just talking to girls!

2. Learn How to Drive

We had a snow storm here, so my driving practice was canceled yesterday.  I re-scheduled my test for later next month, since the dudes car I’m using will be out of town on the originally scheduled weekend.

3. Look for New Job

Interview on Monday. I’m not too excited about my options right now, though. I’ve been thinking really hard about ways to get myself out of the “entry-level hole.”

4. Better Management of $$$

Being unemployed has me obsessive about being responsible with my money. Any penny that I spend I know stress over. This weekend will be a real test because it’s Super Bowl weekend and I live in Pittsburgh. The *real* test however, will be when I get a steady flow of cash in and stop throwing the money away. I have actually spent exactly less than 30 bucks since Sunday, and half of that went towards paying small bills!

Okay, so I am now going to add one goal and drop two goals:

Add: 5. Take the GRE

Wow, if I ever want to get out of the entry-level hole, this is an absolute necessity. I have full afternoons open to do whatever I want, so being unemployed is a prime time to do this.

Drop: Cut Down on Watching Porn

I changed the way I watch porn and have made it more of a ritual. Now, whenever I think of watching porn I think that it is too much trouble. If I feel I have started watching too much again, I will re-add this goal.

Drop: Write on this blog everyday

I am doing this everyday. Yeah, I missed a day, but that was more because I mis-planned my day. 28 out of 29 days is really really good. Like the porn goal, if I stop posting consistently, I will re-add this goal.

In the end, it feels good to have reduced my goals down to a parse five out of what used to be nine. Hopefully in a months time, I will be able to eliminate two (driving and a new job).

I am working towards accomplishing these goals, I am sure that I will have the best year of my life!

The Best Year of My Life (part 4)

I contemplated shutting down this blog today.

I wasn’t planning on shutting it down completely, but merely moving all of the posts to private status. I had a crisis where I became paranoid that someone I know might happen upon this blog. I also questioned the point of this blog-do I really need to have an anonymous blog? Couldn’t I just do the same thing with a personal journal (which I have) or in a word document?

This is a question I am going have to answer over the next couple of days.

The pros to having a public but anonymous blog this are: 1.) I am stating my goals in a public avenue, so that anyone reading can post here and say, “what the f are you doing?” and 2.) I can get advice from complete strangers.

I really don’t talk too bad about anyone on this blog, so if I were to be found out I don’t think it’d be that big of a deal. It’d be more of an issue about how weird I am!

I read a good bit of Leo Babauta’s The Power of Less today.

He talks a good deal about simplifying and putting limitations on what you do in order to be able to accomplish more. Mr. Babauta argues that in a world of multi-tasking, too many people are not getting anything done, because they are trying to get too much done. In the process of trying to get 20 things done at one time, tasks get diluted or abandoned altogether. Focusing on doing a few things and doing them well, is much more effective.

This is exactly my problem.

Therefore, I am going to eliminate some goals from the Best year of My Life list, many of which I plan on coming back to later. Babauta suggests trying to one goal at a time, for 30 days, since it takes 30 days to become a habit.

Without further ado:

Let’s first look at the list of goals overall and see which ones are left or have been amended:

1. Write on this blog everyday
2. Cut down on watching porn
3. Meditate Everyday
4. Exercise/Eat healthy

5. Apply for new job/Graduate School
6. Meet More Women
7. Learn How to Drive
8. Finish Rap Album
9. Better Management of $$$

Leo talks about breaking things down to the essential and non-essential. he suggests breaking things down to one goal at a time, starting with the most important first. If I were to break it down to ONE GOAL that affects me most in my life, it’d be WOMEN.

Not having women, for as long as I can remember, has been the #1 tried and true source of disappointment in my life. Tyler Durden says, “If you do not have women actively in your life, you are failing at one of your core purposes.”

This is not to say that I would like to have wild orgies with 2 or 3 women a night, but I think that having 1 or 2 women that I could spend time with on a regular basis is a highly reasonable goal. In order to be able to do this, I have to learn to be more aggressive and talk to women in public settings. Oftentimes, that means going to the bar, even if I have to go alone.

So, I am going to start with Develop Attraction Skills, renamed from Meet More Women because that isn’t necessarily what I’m trying to do.

1. Deveop Attraction Skills

I had a life first this past weekend.

I hung out with two different girls on consecutive days. One might even go as far as to call them “dates.”

It’s a great feeling, going from so many years of absolutely loneliness to hanging out with two different girls on two different nights.

Still, there is much work to be done.

Now when I was out at the bar, did I make a concerted attempt to meet more women?

No I did not.

My goal, first and foremost, is to get over my approach anxiety, which seems to have taken on a life of its own in my head. In fact, it is a monster that I can picture now, it is purple blob named Bob. I am closing my eyes, and imagining myself pouring cold water over Bob, which makes the blob dissolve and kill Bob.

In my mind, I have conqured approach anxiety. I just need to go out and show the world that I have conquered it.

I am going to go out three times this week. One night will be either tomorrow or Wednesday with Hero. Then probably Thursday and a weekend night. If I don’t open, I DON’T want to kill myself over it. First and foremost, I want to have a GREAT time. It sucks going home depressed as all fuck because I didn’t do what I came out to do in the first place. Hmm… maybe that is why I should open!

2. Learn How to Drive

I have scheduled my drivers test for February 7th, but it will have to be pushed back since Hero will be out of town. I am getting in some practice tomorrow with Hero, and will continue to do so 2-3 times a week until the test. I really already know how to drive, it is just a matter of learning how to parallel, which is kind of hard now since there are all of these snow banks on the road.

3. Look for New Job

A necessity now because I am unemployed. I must say that I am enjoying being unemployed a little more than I’d like to be. Sure it gets boring, . I want to take this time to secure a job in the direction I want to go in-which is library science. However, I am also drawn towards work at home opportunities. This task occupies the waking moments of every weekday now.

4. Better Management of $$$

Budgeting always will be a absolute necessity of mine. I have been budgeting pretty dilligently as of late, especially since I don’t know where my next paycheck will come from.

5. Cut down on watching porn

For years, I thought I was addicted to porn because I spent so much time looking for and watching it- I am talking 3 to 4 hours of my day, easy.

For a long time, I would go through spurts where I would watch a TON of porn, then feel guilty and stop for 2 or 3 days, then go right back into it. This past June, I stopped watching (and masturbating) for over thirty days, before regressing to my old ways.

But now, things are different.

I only allow myself to watch at the end of my day, after everything is done. I have also made watching a ritual. I pick a scene to watch, and I watch the whole scene, usually 30 or 40 minutes. I practice my stalin technique and kegel exercises in the meantime.

Oftentimes, I am too tired to sit down and dedicate 30-40 minutes to porn. Other times, I just don’t have the desire to watch anymore. I think this is due to me having ladies in my life, but also because I would be accountable for it in this blog.

6. Write on this blog everyday

Yeah, I missed a day.

That day was an exception, not the norm, and I have worked hard to keep writing consistently. After missing once, it’s  is very easy for me to say to myself, “who cares? I can miss again!”

I believe that posting everyday like this is very beneficial and I will continue to do so throughout the year. Let’s just hope I am not discovered!

A few words about the crossed out tasks.

3. Meditate Everyday
4. Exercise/Eat healthy

5. Graduate School
8. Finish Rap Album

It’d be stupid to say that I have just given up on these goals. I mean, who DOESN’T want to Exercise and Eat Healthy? It’s just that right now, I am focusing on other goals, and when those goals have converted into habits, I will work on these goals.

That’s not to say that if I wake up in the morning, and I feel like I need to meditate, that I won’t do it. What I am saying is that I am going to be the most focused on the six (actually, really four) goals listed above.

The Best Year of My Life (part 3)

“If you’re walking down the right path and you’re willing to keep walking, eventually you’ll make progress.” – Barack Obama

First, some thoughts about yesterday.

Yesterday was a historic moment in our nation’s history. While I don’t think Barack Obama will the savior that many people are looking for, I do think that he will be a more effective president than the man we had in office for the past eight years.

Furthermore, it is hard to ignore the symbolic value of Barack’s presidency-he has broken down what might be considered the final color barrier for minorities in America. Does that mean he has single handedly ended racism? No, racism or discrimination for that matter will always exist in a ego-fueled society. Barack Obama has pereservered in spite these barriers. I think that is very powerful and inspiring.

I am disheartened when I hear or read about people who say that they could care less about what happened. Yesterday was one of the most remarkable events of our lifetime, whether you agree with the mans views or not. His middle name is “Hussein” for crying out loud. It goes to show, that no matter the odds, no matter the, if you have the will, YOU WILL SUCCEED.

David Wygant has a very inspiring video related to yesterdays inauguration:

Onto the goals update.

Without further ado:

I realized yesterday that in following my New Deal Plan, it makes more sense to have daily, weekly, and overall goals. I am going to list my weekly goals here at the beginning of every week.

– Find a new job – It looks like the job that I thought I had gotten has fallen through.
– Finish song.

Overall goals:

1. Write on this blog everyday

21 days and counting, no stops. There have been a few close calls, but honestly I really like writing this blog everyday. It is therapeutic, and helps me get my thoughts in order.

2. Cut down on watching porn

I am surprised that this is going so well. I have cut down IMMENSELY on my porn watching, and have even skipped days. Having women in my life helps cut down on this a lot. Also, I have made watching porn much more of a ritual-I watch one full scene, and practice my Stalin technique throughout. It is much more of a practice of restraint than pleasure.

3. Meditate Everyday

I am on a once a week average with meditation. I meditated yesterday but was interrupted by my Father calling, I actually thought it was the alarm sounding to end the session. Tonight, I plan to return to the zendo depending on when my date with the redhead is. I will probably miss out on the Transmission of Light reading, but I am not sure that I get much out of these readings.

4. Exercise/Eat healthy

The Hamburger Helper is gone, so my eating is a lot healthier. I have been splurging on KFC every Sunday, but I think that will end once football is over. This morning I had a chicken salad, which is probably what I will also have for dinner.

I have to save the money for the gym membership because I am now unemployed. Although, a few pushups and sit ups to start my day wouldn’t be bad.

I need to come up with a morning routine!

5. Apply for new job/Graduate School

Applying for new jobs is now a necessity since I am unemployed and have no money saved. I made a rash decision to quit my job and am now dealing with the consequences. I made an appointment with a temp agency for Monday, but what I’ve been doing for the past couple of years.

I am going to start working on grad. school apps starting today.

6. Meet More Women

I fell off pretty bad this weekend. Thursday I didn’t do anything, Friday I was embarassed by the redhead, Saturday I didn’t do anything, and even on Sunday I was introverted. I am in a slump right now. Too much inside my head.

This weekend will be different, mainly because I will be cutting down on the alcohol since I am now broke. But I will also be returning to the top 40 clubs, which I haven’t really gone to since the fall started. I am just going to have to step up, be a man, and not be outcome dependent.

7. Learn How to Drive

Going out to practice with Hero in about an hour or so. Will schedule test in the next week or two. Since I am unemployed, there is daylight, which means there is time to practice!

8. Finish Rap Album

I finished a verse yesterday, I just have to fix it up. A good hour a day or so will help. I really enjoy writing, it’s stupid that I don’t do it more often!

9. Better Management of $$$

This has me pretty nervous right now. I have no steady stream of income coming in as of today (my last paycheck was received). I have enough to pay my bills and enough food to last until the middle of next month, but my social life will suffer dearly. I am confident I can whether this storm and make better decisions in the future.

Best Year of My Life (part 2)

“Mission is at the heart of what you do as a team. Goals are merely steps to its achievement. Mission has an eternal quality. Goals are time bound and once achieved, are replaced by others.– Patrick Dixon

It’s Friday. I had the day off because I was fired yesterday. It hasn’t been the most productive day, although I did get some things done. A lot of it was spent texting Red from Wednesday.

Without further ado:

1. Write on this blog everyday

Haven’t missed a day yet, sixteen and counting. There have been a few that I have technically finished the next day, like after midnight, but I am going to count it as the same day as long as it’s finished before I go to sleep.

It takes me a lot less time to write these posts now, and I think that I am improving grammar-wise. Hopefully, there aren’t any tense shifts in my posts anymore.

Good job!

2. Stop Watching Porn Cut down on watching porn

I amended this goal a little bit- I have simply cut down on my watching, only at the end of the day after I have accomplished all of my tasks. Doing this has actually made me lose the zest I once had to watch porn. There were two days this week where I didn’t watch any porn at all. Even last night, I put some on, and just wasn’t feeling it, so I turned it off.

I think that the reason I watch porn is because I have self-esteem issues. The times when I go off on some crazy binge and download and watch nothing but porn all day are when I feel the worst about myself. Conversely, when I have women in my life, and I feel that I am accomplishing things, it is the first thing that goes out the door. I know that it’s bad to use women as validation, but that isn’t necessarily the case with me. I find that I stop watching as much porn if I simply OPEN and talk to women, no matter if I get played or not.

3. Meditate Everyday

I meditated once this week, and it was a bad experience.

I was very anxious throughout the whole sitting, wondering when it was going to end. I didn’t even last the full 30 minutes. Instead of going to zazen at the zendo this week, I went on the date with the redhead.

It’s not that I don’t want to meditate, but when I get home I think about all of the things I have to do and meditation is always the first thing cut out. Meditation has a TON of benefits for me, I am going to make it more of a priority.

When I get home from work, I am going to meditate, even if I am hungry.

4. Exercise/Eat healthy

I have the $$$ for the membership to the gym, but since I got fired prematurely, I am going to have to save that money.

I ate the last of the hamburger helper this week, too. I told myself, when the last box is done, no more of that for you. I made some pasta tuna salad which has lasted me a couple of days!

5. Apply for new job/Graduate School

It looks like that new job is falling through, so I am going to get on the ball with this very soon. I will call the temp. agency on Monday and start applying for permanent jobs  next week.

As far as graduate school, no movement on that front. I need to make a plan of recommendations and get ready to write the best acceptance letter ever. I am afraid of failing, that’s why I haven’t done this yet.

6. Meet More Women

Met the redhead last Saturday, and talked to a few more girls that night, but I did nothing last night. I need to write down my goals for each specific night in my notepad before I go out, just like PUA Sinn says.

Honestly, I really like the redhead. There aren’t too many girls that I can get along with on an intellectual level. It might be cool to get serious with this girl. I don’t know, I’ll have to see how it goes. Part of me thinks that this is a cop out to stop sarging. I am conflicted.

7. Learn How to Drive

No progress here this week, although if I’m not working next week, getting some practice in during the day could certainly be helpful. I’ll have to schedule a test in the very near future.

8. Finish Rap Album

I wrote a little today, but not enough to finish a song. I hope to complete a song either tomorrow or Sunday. I want to complete one song per week.

9. Better Management of $$$

Much better on this front this week, I stuck to my budget and didn’t spend too much eating out. Getting fired changes things though, I am going to have to conserve and cut things out until I get something steady.

I am sure that this will be the best year of my life.

The Best Year of My Life (part 1)

“People are not lazy. They simply have impotent goals— that is, goals that do not inspire them.” – Anthony Robbins

I didn’t go out last night.

I had originally planned to, but after being out until 5:30 AM the night before and then going to work at 9 AM, I was just too exhausted to do it. A two hour nap after work didn’t cut it-plus King Lear cancelled on me.

Instead, I turned on the space heater, put on Ken Burns’ The Civil War, and tried to stay awake as long as I possibly could before finally dozing off.

So, today will be my very first goals update. I know I wanted to have the update for Mondays and Thursdays, but I think I will actually go out tomorrow night and have a field report for that night.

I have revised or even abandoned some of my previously stated goals, and added some new ones.

Without further ado:

1. Write on this blog everyday

So far so good. I haven’t missed a day thus far. Having a place to write down my thoughts and reflect has been immensely helpful to me. At first I had some concern that I would run out of things to write, but so far that hasn’t been the case. I actually have a few topics to pull out on rainy days.

This goal goes in tandem with my intention of carrying my notepad with me wherever I go. Having a notepad is great for jotting down thoughts, or things I need to remember to do later.

2. Stop Watching Porn

Quite simply, I don’t think this will happen because I don’t want it to. The main reason I want to stop watching is because I had been spending too much time finding good porn. All this week, I have watched porn only as a reward for getting everything I need to get done.

As far as porn ruining my sex life, I think that’s mostly it’s a problem with the technique I use to masturbate. For the porn I have been watching, I have been practicing the stalin method pretty regularly-masturbating until near climax and then going soft. It’s weird because I have been watching full scenes of porn for the first time in my life. Before, I would skip ahead to the missionary position, whack off, and be done within five minutes. Now I spend a good 30 minutes at the end of my night, wind down, and watch about 30 mins. of a scene. It helps me sleep at night.

3. Meditate Everyday

I fell off on this goal. I meditated twice on Monday and that is it. I want to start waking up early and meditating to start my day, but when I wake up late, this is the first thing to get nixed.

I will make a more concerned effort for this task starting tomorrow.

4. Exercise/Eat healthy

I have yet to start my exercise regiment because I don’t have the $$$ for the gym membership. I have been researching recipes this week, and even made pasta-tuna salad this week. I am not sure I am going to go back to the 5x a day eating schedule, but three hearty meals plus a milkshake or two will definitely be beneficial to me. It will just take some planning.

5. Apply for new job/Graduate School

Well, according to the girl who works there, the job I want is in the bag. They haven’t made an offer yet, but I am hoping on Monday they will seal the deal. If not, I will go back to sending cover letters/resumes out, at least 1/day.

As far as graduate school goes, I should take the GRE, although it’s not required to get into the program here. Last year, I had half an application in, this year, I will put the full one in. DOPE.

6. Meet More Women

Well, on Thursday I went out and opened more than I have ever remembered. I am going out tonight and have a continuation of my glorious Thursday night.

7. Learn How to Drive

I want to take care of this goal before March. I need to get at Hero and schedule some time with him. I will do that tomorrow.  I will also schedule my test for sometime at the end of the month or early February.

8. Finish Rap Album

I didn’t work on this at all this week-this week was really busy with that assignment I had and applying for the new job, but I made a pledge to myself that I will finish a song a week this year. This will be incredibly difficult at the beginning, because I am a slow writer, but eventually it will take me no more than a few hours to write a complete song.

9. Better Management of $$$

I started out this week afraid I had overdrafted my account. I had spent a lot of money over the new years weekend. It turns out that I didn’t overdraft and actually had money to spare. Still, it will be better for my mental health if I avoid those situations.

Earlier this week, I planned out my budget through the end of March. This budget will ostensibly change very soon as I get a new job that pays a significant amount more money. I look forward to being able to pay my college loans, and start chipping away at debt.

And there you have it, my goals. I am very excited about all of them, and am actually surprised because I am doing better than I usually would be doing, mostly in thanks to this blog, which reminds me of them every day. 2009, has been a great year thus far, outside of one very drunken night.

I am sure this is going to be the best year of my life.