Tag Archives: crafton

My HERO!

“We can all be heroes in our virtues, in our homes, in our lives.” – James Ellis

So I went back to the bar I was at last Thursday. Why? Because I thought TeacherGirl would be there! I wanted to clear up any shit that might have been caused by King Lear. I also wanted to figure out if I had gotten a wrong number.

Yes, I know this was a stupid stupid idea. If she gave me a bad number, so what? MOVE ON! However, it perplexes me that she would do such a thing, I feel like I hit it off with her pretty well, and maybe she just dialed it wrong.

She wasn’t there tonight.

I’ll see her again, it’s Pittsburgh, but if I don’t, oh well. Next week, I might go back to 80’s night and see LeaderGirl. The only reason I didn’t go to see LeaderGirl tonight was because I had no cash on hand, and I risked overdrafting at the bar I went to tonight.

King Lear decided not to go tonight, which was one of the rare times I’ve been at this bar without him. I was messaging the dude desperately wanting him to come out because I didn’t want to go out alone. In the end, it wasn’t a big deal. There were no real targets at the bar, and really only his ex-girlfriend hit on me pretty aggressively, but I’m not interested in her at all. Not to say that she isn’t attractive because she is, but she went out with my good friend to the point that she LIVED with him, that is NOT a good idea by any definition of the word!

If anything, I should have gotten at Hero, who was undoubtedly out tonight. Shit, he goes out any night he’s not working. He doesn’t drink anything but water, and goes out with the sole purpose of picking up women, he is a TRUE PUA.

The problem with Hero is that I usually feel uncomfortable when I go out with him. If the place is not up to his standards of girls, and 9/10 times it isn’t, then we have to leave. Most times I do agree with him, there are not enough girls to faciliate opening, but there is definitely work to be done, and oftentimes, we still stand there and do nothing.

Still, sometimes I just want to chill, get comfortable, and see what happens. He doesn’t drink so this is not an option for him. He is die hard. I admire him for this, I really do. If PUA was an army, he’d be first infantry, right there out on the front lines blasting at whomever, not giving a fuck if he died.

I realize that sitting and chilling is not conducive to PUA, and I think that in some ways I am not cut out to be one. Ultimately, all I really want to do is to be able to talk to females and elicit attraction more often than not. I want to get in touch with my core masculine identity and have a consistent roster of girls that I can get in touch with. A byproduct of this is that I will be able to talk to males and females that I’m not interested in.

Hero thinks this is stupid, he is not trying to befriend guys or ugly girls, he is just trying to fuck hot chicks. Sometimes I think that goes against him, because I feel like there is this weird aura that goes around him, that says, “fuck you, I only want your hot chicks!” Whereas with me, I say, “hey if you’re a cool and don’t smell, we can chill and talk, no problem. If you have hot girls around you though, I MUST talk to them.” I don’t make PUA the end all be all of a night, I just try to have the most fun I think that I can possibly have, and sometimes that is after only talking to maybe one girl.

By the way, I’m not trying to paint Hero as a villain or anything, I am just trying demonstrate how our minds our different in the way we go about things. We started PUA at the same time, and by far he has had the most succeess, no disputing that. Still, I feel that I have to have my own journey, as he has to have HIS own journey.

Hero is actually planning to move to Vegas, which is an idea I planned two years ago. He wants to go there for strictly PUA. Jeffy from RSD says that there is no better place on Earth to open women. My idea was to go there just because I think it would be a unique experience-I don’t think you could anywhere in the world that would be like Las Vegas. At first, I’ll admit, I was jealous and tried to discourage him from making this decision, but shortly into the conversation, I realized my wrongdoing and began encouraging him to make this move in his life.

Seriously, I wish him the best of luck, but Hero is so smart I’m sure he won’t have much of a problem. In a way, I am sad because if he’s gone, and Roommate and Crafton don’t really go out anymore, and King Lear is out of commission most nights because he has a girlfriend, then that means I will be going out solo a lot this summer.

Maybe this will be the kick in the butt that I need!

All in all, GREAT times ahead, my friends!

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It’s Just Talking to Girls…

“He who procrastinates, masturbates.” – Unsourced.

Last night was a bad night.

If Friday was a good night because of my actions, then tonight was exactly the opposite. Nothing bad happened, in fact nothing really happened at all.

It was the monthly hip hop night at the bar we went to. Our good friend was deejaying so we got in for free. We stepped in and no one was there, which was to be expected because it was snowing pretty badly outside.

We actually skipped a good friends birthday party at another bar in order to go to this DJ night. We had originally planned to get started earlier so we could go to both, but that just didn’t happen. I hope she isn’t too disappointed in us!

I was already pretty drunk when I got to the bar. I had pregamed a bit too hard. When it was time to go to the bar I was actually passed out on my bed, telling my roommate that I wasn’t going out. I quickly changed my mind, grabbed my jacket and headed out the door.

The bar was pretty barren for a little while, but then a decently sized crowd amassed out of nowhere. No one was dancing, though.

I was pretty drunk and feeling the music so, I just started dancing by myself alone on the dance floor.  Some people followed suit, and it eventually became pretty packed. I felt pretty proud of myself at that point.

That would be the most noteworthy thing I did all night.

The rest of the night wasn’t very noteworthy. I just danced by myself, eyefucked a lot of girls, but never actually pursued any. There were a few that in retrospect I could have easily talked to and danced with, but I got nervous and chickened out. I remember, at one point, standing next to this circle of black girls, and getting the feeling in my heart of nervousness that I get when I am about to do something, but then I chickened out. I remember being totally in my head during that whole period, trying to rationalize to myself why I SHOULDN’T talk to these girls, I just needed an excuse to make myself feel better.

In contrast, I looked at my friend, Crafton, who was doing his thing. Crafton is a total ham, he always has to be at the center of attention. He was approaching every single girl in the bar, doing a little dance or whatever. My other friend said he was on a mission to creep every girl out. Well, if he was trying to creep girls out, then he was doing a terribly bad job, because a lot of girls were feeling him. When we went to leave, we saw him outside brushing the snow off of this girls car. I haven’t talked to him yet, here’s hoping he had a threesome.

So, that night is over.

I can’t dwell on it, I can only learn from my inaction and do better next time. It’s funny, because for as long as I can remember, I have had success staring me RIGHT in the face, and what have I done? Everything in my power to prevent myself from succeeding. It’s really a fucked up way to live a life.

I need to be more present, I need to get over this fear of rejection, I need to basically stop being a pussy.

I mean, after all, it’s just talking to girls…