Tag Archives: exercise

Best Year of My Life (part 2)

“Mission is at the heart of what you do as a team. Goals are merely steps to its achievement. Mission has an eternal quality. Goals are time bound and once achieved, are replaced by others.– Patrick Dixon

It’s Friday. I had the day off because I was fired yesterday. It hasn’t been the most productive day, although I did get some things done. A lot of it was spent texting Red from Wednesday.

Without further ado:

1. Write on this blog everyday

Haven’t missed a day yet, sixteen and counting. There have been a few that I have technically finished the next day, like after midnight, but I am going to count it as the same day as long as it’s finished before I go to sleep.

It takes me a lot less time to write these posts now, and I think that I am improving grammar-wise. Hopefully, there aren’t any tense shifts in my posts anymore.

Good job!

2. Stop Watching Porn Cut down on watching porn

I amended this goal a little bit- I have simply cut down on my watching, only at the end of the day after I have accomplished all of my tasks. Doing this has actually made me lose the zest I once had to watch porn. There were two days this week where I didn’t watch any porn at all. Even last night, I put some on, and just wasn’t feeling it, so I turned it off.

I think that the reason I watch porn is because I have self-esteem issues. The times when I go off on some crazy binge and download and watch nothing but porn all day are when I feel the worst about myself. Conversely, when I have women in my life, and I feel that I am accomplishing things, it is the first thing that goes out the door. I know that it’s bad to use women as validation, but that isn’t necessarily the case with me. I find that I stop watching as much porn if I simply OPEN and talk to women, no matter if I get played or not.

3. Meditate Everyday

I meditated once this week, and it was a bad experience.

I was very anxious throughout the whole sitting, wondering when it was going to end. I didn’t even last the full 30 minutes. Instead of going to zazen at the zendo this week, I went on the date with the redhead.

It’s not that I don’t want to meditate, but when I get home I think about all of the things I have to do and meditation is always the first thing cut out. Meditation has a TON of benefits for me, I am going to make it more of a priority.

When I get home from work, I am going to meditate, even if I am hungry.

4. Exercise/Eat healthy

I have the $$$ for the membership to the gym, but since I got fired prematurely, I am going to have to save that money.

I ate the last of the hamburger helper this week, too. I told myself, when the last box is done, no more of that for you. I made some pasta tuna salad which has lasted me a couple of days!

5. Apply for new job/Graduate School

It looks like that new job is falling through, so I am going to get on the ball with this very soon. I will call the temp. agency on Monday and start applying for permanent jobs  next week.

As far as graduate school, no movement on that front. I need to make a plan of recommendations and get ready to write the best acceptance letter ever. I am afraid of failing, that’s why I haven’t done this yet.

6. Meet More Women

Met the redhead last Saturday, and talked to a few more girls that night, but I did nothing last night. I need to write down my goals for each specific night in my notepad before I go out, just like PUA Sinn says.

Honestly, I really like the redhead. There aren’t too many girls that I can get along with on an intellectual level. It might be cool to get serious with this girl. I don’t know, I’ll have to see how it goes. Part of me thinks that this is a cop out to stop sarging. I am conflicted.

7. Learn How to Drive

No progress here this week, although if I’m not working next week, getting some practice in during the day could certainly be helpful. I’ll have to schedule a test in the very near future.

8. Finish Rap Album

I wrote a little today, but not enough to finish a song. I hope to complete a song either tomorrow or Sunday. I want to complete one song per week.

9. Better Management of $$$

Much better on this front this week, I stuck to my budget and didn’t spend too much eating out. Getting fired changes things though, I am going to have to conserve and cut things out until I get something steady.

I am sure that this will be the best year of my life.

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The Best Year of My Life (part 1)

“People are not lazy. They simply have impotent goals— that is, goals that do not inspire them.” – Anthony Robbins

I didn’t go out last night.

I had originally planned to, but after being out until 5:30 AM the night before and then going to work at 9 AM, I was just too exhausted to do it. A two hour nap after work didn’t cut it-plus King Lear cancelled on me.

Instead, I turned on the space heater, put on Ken Burns’ The Civil War, and tried to stay awake as long as I possibly could before finally dozing off.

So, today will be my very first goals update. I know I wanted to have the update for Mondays and Thursdays, but I think I will actually go out tomorrow night and have a field report for that night.

I have revised or even abandoned some of my previously stated goals, and added some new ones.

Without further ado:

1. Write on this blog everyday

So far so good. I haven’t missed a day thus far. Having a place to write down my thoughts and reflect has been immensely helpful to me. At first I had some concern that I would run out of things to write, but so far that hasn’t been the case. I actually have a few topics to pull out on rainy days.

This goal goes in tandem with my intention of carrying my notepad with me wherever I go. Having a notepad is great for jotting down thoughts, or things I need to remember to do later.

2. Stop Watching Porn

Quite simply, I don’t think this will happen because I don’t want it to. The main reason I want to stop watching is because I had been spending too much time finding good porn. All this week, I have watched porn only as a reward for getting everything I need to get done.

As far as porn ruining my sex life, I think that’s mostly it’s a problem with the technique I use to masturbate. For the porn I have been watching, I have been practicing the stalin method pretty regularly-masturbating until near climax and then going soft. It’s weird because I have been watching full scenes of porn for the first time in my life. Before, I would skip ahead to the missionary position, whack off, and be done within five minutes. Now I spend a good 30 minutes at the end of my night, wind down, and watch about 30 mins. of a scene. It helps me sleep at night.

3. Meditate Everyday

I fell off on this goal. I meditated twice on Monday and that is it. I want to start waking up early and meditating to start my day, but when I wake up late, this is the first thing to get nixed.

I will make a more concerned effort for this task starting tomorrow.

4. Exercise/Eat healthy

I have yet to start my exercise regiment because I don’t have the $$$ for the gym membership. I have been researching recipes this week, and even made pasta-tuna salad this week. I am not sure I am going to go back to the 5x a day eating schedule, but three hearty meals plus a milkshake or two will definitely be beneficial to me. It will just take some planning.

5. Apply for new job/Graduate School

Well, according to the girl who works there, the job I want is in the bag. They haven’t made an offer yet, but I am hoping on Monday they will seal the deal. If not, I will go back to sending cover letters/resumes out, at least 1/day.

As far as graduate school goes, I should take the GRE, although it’s not required to get into the program here. Last year, I had half an application in, this year, I will put the full one in. DOPE.

6. Meet More Women

Well, on Thursday I went out and opened more than I have ever remembered. I am going out tonight and have a continuation of my glorious Thursday night.

7. Learn How to Drive

I want to take care of this goal before March. I need to get at Hero and schedule some time with him. I will do that tomorrow.  I will also schedule my test for sometime at the end of the month or early February.

8. Finish Rap Album

I didn’t work on this at all this week-this week was really busy with that assignment I had and applying for the new job, but I made a pledge to myself that I will finish a song a week this year. This will be incredibly difficult at the beginning, because I am a slow writer, but eventually it will take me no more than a few hours to write a complete song.

9. Better Management of $$$

I started out this week afraid I had overdrafted my account. I had spent a lot of money over the new years weekend. It turns out that I didn’t overdraft and actually had money to spare. Still, it will be better for my mental health if I avoid those situations.

Earlier this week, I planned out my budget through the end of March. This budget will ostensibly change very soon as I get a new job that pays a significant amount more money. I look forward to being able to pay my college loans, and start chipping away at debt.

And there you have it, my goals. I am very excited about all of them, and am actually surprised because I am doing better than I usually would be doing, mostly in thanks to this blog, which reminds me of them every day. 2009, has been a great year thus far, outside of one very drunken night.

I am sure this is going to be the best year of my life.

The Blueprint: 10 Goals for 2009

“Failure is the opportunity to begin again, more intelligently.” – Henry Ford

Last year, I made a list of goals for 2008. I failed at all of them.

This year, I kept those same goals, but added even more. Why? It’s not because I am a masochist that gains some pleasure in watching myself fail, it’s because I feel I can complete these goals. So what’s different about me this year than last year? I am more determined, I realize that I’m not getting any younger, or as Mr. Ford put it, I am starting, “more intelligently.”

With these goals, I try to be more definitive with them and assign quantities wherever applicable.

Also after I list each goal, give a brief description, and maybe a brief history behind the goal, I am going to list the deviations, which are the reasons that I rationalized in my head that it was not a good idea to keep working on that particular goal. Recognizing these thought patterns will lead to me making different decisions. I am also going to list any websites that will assist me in achieving my goals.

1. Use the computer less

I currently use the internet on average 12 hours a day. This is no exaggeration. Sure, on days that I work, I am required to sit in front of a computer for eight, but often I come home and use the internet for another four.

I want to make a conscious effort to cut down my internet usage. A good goal is  about 2 hours a day during the week, and 4 on the weekend. This is still a lot of internet time.

Deviations: A lot of my internet time is spent looking for new porn (see goal #2), and surfing random websites. I absolutely love the random article function on wikipedia. If I can simply be mindful that I am doing these things, then they will stop.

2. Stop Watching Porn

I made great strides in achieving this goal this year. I actually stopped watching for something like 35 days.

There are a number of reasons why I want to stop watching porn. The first being that I spend too much time looking for it. While I don’t actually watch too much porn per se, I will spend hours upon hours searching for good porn to watch. This time could be better spent on any number of more constructive tasks.

Secondly, porn is slowly ruining my sex life. First off, if you spend most of your day wanking off to girls and then try to go out and meet women on your own, you won’t be motivated, because the women are often not as attractive as those in porn, and if you do meet a woman and take her home, you won’t be able to get it up because you spent your whole day whacking off!

The last reason is more ideological in nature. Porn is watching other people having sex. Why am I watching other people having sex? I want to have sex. Why am I not out meeting women on my own?

Mystery advises cutting down on watching porn to once a week for the best results. When you do watch porn however, he says to make it a date for yourself. Like, this prolonged event. If I do feel the need, then I will make Sundays this day.  All in all though, I would like to cut this out of my life entirely.

Deviations: I find myself watching porn the most when I feel particularly bad about myself. I’ll tell myself, “you’re not going to meet any women anytime soon, might as well watch some porn!” When I feel down, it is often the first thing I run to. What’s funny is that after all is said and done, and business is completed, only very rarely do I feel happy about myself. Oftentimes, I feel worse.

New Life Habits

3. Meditate Every Day

Out of all of my accomplishments of 2008, I am the most proud that I really got into zen philosophy. Back in May, I happened upon my local zendo, met some absolutely wonderful people and became really active. I was gung ho for awhile, I meditated twice a day, I went to the zendo once a week, and I even went to an all-weekend sitting. At some point though, I fell off and stopped going until recently.

When examining my mental health to a year prior, I find that I am a lot more calm and humble. I remember times when I was downright suicidal. Meditation has helped me get over that. While I still get sad, it never gets that extreme.

I had a routine going for awhile where I’d wake up 90 minutes before going to work, I’d sit for 20 minutes, shower, and eat breakfast. This was a wonderful way to start my day and I am going to bring it back. It helped me stay on time for work, too.

Deviations: Sitting is a large time investment. I usually try to sit for about 20-30 minutes at a time. Oftentimes, I would sit at work and tell myself that the first thing I’m going to do when I get home is sit, then I would get home, think about all of the things I have to do and I would forgo sitting for whatever I’d have to do.

Also, I think it’s easy to write meditation off as not helpful, because afterall you’re just staring at a wall for an extended period of time. I need to remember just how beneficial meditation can be and I’ll be alright.

4. Exercise/Eat healthy


Earlier this year, back in September, I put myself on a regiment of more exercise and healthier eating. My goal was to gain 20 lbs by the years end. The plan went well for about 3 weeks, then I fell off. In order to gain 20 lbs., it meant lessening the actual amount of food per meal, but increasing my meals to about six per day. This takes an incredible amount of planning/money.

I want to get back on track with this goal. Lifting for an hour 3x a week, and increasing my meals to at least 3 is very reasonable.

Deviation: At some point, I convinced myself that there is nothing wrong with being skinny, which there isn’t. I pointed towards Barack Obama who is a man that is looked upon by many as a very attractive man. However, the truth is 5’11” and 150 lbs. is not a healthy weight.

Stronglifts

5. Apply for new job/Graduate School

2008 was a horrible year for me career wise. I actually ended the year making less than when it started for the second year in a row. I understand that money isn’t everything when considering a job, but I actually hate my current job more, too.

I have been unambitious about my career ever since I had a negative experience working at a non-profit company. I have taken jobs just to get by, without exception.

I want to go to graduate school for library science. I have been saying this for years, but I never apply. This year, I had half an application, with both recommendations submitted, but I never finished the application.

Deviations: Quite simply, I am afraid to fail. I dread the thought of getting a rejection letter so much that I am afraid to even apply. I need to work through this and realize that life is full of taking chances.

6. Meet More Women

If there is one goal I want to succeed at in 2009, it would be this goal. Two years ago, I read The Game and immediately became enthralled with the community. Still, for as much as I go out, I can count the number of women I have truly cold approached on one hand. Getting into pickup led to

I want to start going out at least 2 nights a week and opening 3 women a night.  By the end of the year, I want to have already taken, or be close to taking a bootcamp with RSD.

Deviations: Again, I am afraid to fail. I need to be present, make my two feet move, and open my mouth. It’s that simple.

Real Social Dynamics

7. Learn How to Drive

I will be turning twenty six this year, and this is simply unacceptable. This year, I made a great stride in that I actually took the drivers test, even though I failed.

I want to have a driver’s license, in hand, by March. I will practice 1-2 a week until the test.

Deviations: This goal is dependent on the schedule of others. Oftentimes, I get into the mindset where I tell myself, “oh I shouldn’t bother them!” And as a result, I never pass the test.

8. Better Management of $$$

Ever since I graduated college, I have kept a budget in excel that tracks my spending.  I have noticed that when I look at my budget on at least a weekly basis, I have a lot more money. Whenever I stop looking at my budget, that’s when overspending and overdraft charges come. I need to remember to look at my budget at least once a week.

An underling to this goal is to cut down on drinking and eating out, because a lot of money goes towards those endeavors.

Deviations: I just keep forgetting to be honest. A simple note to remind myself will suffice.

The Simple Dollar

9. Finish rap album

I love hip hop, specifically of the indie variety, although there have been some quality releases this year. When I was in college, I wrote and recorded songs, performed in front of people. I even had my own producer and DJ, who is my current roommate. My roommate gave me enough beats for an album 3-4 years ago, but I have just sat on them. This is maybe the biggest disappointment in my life right now.

This year, I made great strides in that I recorded 3 songs, which is more than the 1 output of years past, but a lot less than when I was at my peak.

I want to start writing for at least an hour 5x a week.

Deviations: A lot of this has to do with self-confidence. Sometimes I’ll tell myself,  ‘oh you’re terrible, you should put the mic down.’ But the fact of the matter is that I have a lot of fun making music, and that’s why I should keep doing it. It would be absolutely wonderful if I could finish that album this year.

10. Be more responsible.

This is more of a catchall goal that encompasses a big problem with my life. The truth is, there are very few things that I take seriously in my own life. For instance, I am rarely ever on-time to any engagement. In fact, I have a habit of leaving at the exact time as when I am supposed to be somewhere, usually. Oftentimes, when I an assignment to do, I mysteriously get sleepy, (as I am right now), and sleep rather than complete the assignment.

Failure due to irresponsibility put me in a horrible mood, and a more concerted effort would go a long way.

So there you have it, goals for 2009. I am sick of staring at this screen after having wrote this long post. I am going to bed!

Oh, before I go…

Big shout out to Zensquared, who left this comment:

Come now, where are those goals? Don’t procrastinate. Post them.

You can always revise them later.

I had been procrastinating, now here they are. Always good when a comment from a stranger motivates you!