Tag Archives: hipstergirl

A Weekend, It Was.

“Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you’ve never been hurt and live like it’s heaven on Earth.” – Mark Twain

I am employed again.

I got my old job back. I am talking the one I had BEFORE I worked at a bank. This is a job that I actually liked, but it was only ever temporary, and they made it pretty apparent that I would never be hired permanently. Still, it’ll be cool to have (relatively) steady income again.

This weekend, oh this weekend.

Friday:

King Lear and I returned to where we were the night before. We had a good time, I talked to some girls, I didn’t get PISS drunk, but nothing too eventful. I don’t remember any meaningful interactions. Later on, we went to afterhours, then went home. I saw HipsterGirl there, but she was with another guy, I did a half assed attempt at hollering, but in my drunkeness I realized that I am not interested.

Saturday

King Lear woke me up at 10AM to go to a snowboarding party they had down the street from where we live. We misread the flyer for this party because it didn’t start until two. We grabbed some breakfast, drank at a nearby bar, then headed over.

All in all, it was a good time, I met a few girls that I’d never met before, but in the back of my head I found myself worried about getting TOO drunk because I was literally going to be drinking for like 16 hours.

Life is always better without worrying.

We left the snowboarding jam at 7PM, took an hour break at our respective apartments, then headed out to the place I’d now been going to for three nights in a row. It was a small jaunt tonight, I tried to get on a girl I’d been talking to the other night to come with us to the NEXT place we were going, but she wasn’t having it. Oh well.

The next place we went to had a DJ from out of town and was a GREAT time. I spent a good amount of time talking to this girl who had a boyfriend. This normally doesn’t stop me, but then the guy showed up and I moved on. PUA aside, I saw a TON of people I hadn’t seen in awhile at this bar, and I remember the feeling of utter elation at certain points-just really vibing with the music and being around good friends. Sometimes it’s good to have those moments.

After that, we went to afterhours. It had been 15 hours of almost continuous drinking at this point. I was EXHAUSTED. Still, I met a cute girl with FUNNY glasses. I was pretty sure I managed to get a number, but when I got home I could not remember her name and nothing in my phone looked out of place.

It’s funny how I function like that sometimes, like my brain is on autopilot. I also remember talking to a woman who was ugly and had a kid who was my age. She was cool… but yuck.

The next morning I check my facebook only to realize that FunnyG had befriended me on Facebook. Oh, that’s what your name was!

No real exposition on the weekend, because outside of getting fucked up, nothing too crazy happened. I do want to calm down on the red bull flavored shots, those shits make my heart race like a cheetah!

Tomorrow is Mardi Gras, so I’m thinking I’m going to go out. We’ll see…

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The Lights Go Out and the Ball Gets Dropped

“I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.” – Marilyn Monroe

Last Wednesday night, the electricity here went out for a good 18 hours. There were hurricane like winds and I guess shit got blown out.

Obviously, I wasn’t able to post for a day or two. However, even afterward, I was out of the habit, and it’s taken me this long to get back on the horse.

Since we’re looking at the past, let’s look at how the past weekend went:

Thursday

I got bored sitting at home with no electricty, so I went over to King Lear’s. Toegether, we were bored out of our minds and decided that we should take advantage of the relatively good weather and take a stroll across town. He brought his camera and we had an adventure. We saw some people we knew, met some new people, checked out a few lesser known sites of the city, it was all around a good time.

Around 8:45 we headed to the bar.

Nothing of note really happened, outside of TeacherGirl making an appearance. I had met TeacherGirl last week and thought I really hit it off with her, but when I called texted her at the number she gave me later that night,  it was the wrong digits.

When she said hello, I didn’t mention the wrong number because maybe I’ve read too many PUA texts and generally they said that would be a bad idea. Still, I had a hard time masking that I was angry at her, so much so that she came back later and said that I seemed angry at her. I told her, “no, not at all.” This was a complete lie, because of course my feelings were hurt. But that was how I WANTED To feel.

It’s hard to put the ego down sometimes. It feels like, no matter how hard I try, I am still very much attached to this world. The point is to stop trying, the enlightened buddhist might say. I am thinking too much.

Anyways, I tried to chat her up, but after like a minute she interrupted and told me she had to go. Very awkward exchange. Part of it is because King Lear was rude to her. The next day I pondered whether she had just been in error in giving me the number or whether she had intentionally given me the wrong number. If the number she typed in was error, then she was probably pissed that I never called.

I guess I’ll never know. If I see her again, I COULD confront her about it, but even if she did, she’d probably deny it, and I’d get the number out of pity.

I am THINKING too much. Fuck, I am a chode. I am going to assume good faith, and if I ever do see her again, tell her that I think she mistyped her number into my phone and that’s why I never called. It’s honest and non-accusatory, I like it.

We went to after hours later and somehow made it like 14 hours of drinking constantly. I had a nice buzz going, but I wasn’t drunk because I didn’t want to repeat last week.

****

Friday:

I didn’t go out on Friday for the second week in a row. It’s hard when you put in Thursdays like that. Not this week though, I am going to do all three days this weekend.

****

Saturday:

I went out by myself.

No one I roll with wanted to go out, and I had stuff to do until around 11-11:30, so I went to a nearby bar where my friends were spinning and they had *gasp* a pudding wrestling competition.

Now, there are a number of a reasons a pudding wrestling competition doesn’t appeal to me. Firstly, I went to college and I was in a frat, so I’ve seen many pudding/jello/plain wrestling competitions in my day. Secondly, in an over-sexualized society where I can see Ava Devine get blasted in her vagina and her asshole at the same time with a few clicks of the mouse, something as tame as a pudding wrestling competition isn’t going to do anything for me. Lastly, I go out to talk to girls, and pudding wrestling didn’t strike me as a place to talk to women.

I stayed until the first round was over then I headed to another bar.

I ran into HipsterGirl at the next bar. HipsterGirl is the one I ate mushrooms with not too long ago. I come in just as her friends are leaving. We talk for awhile about whatever.

She tells me at one point, “I really like hanging out with you…” while staring into my eyes, which would have been any self-respecting man’s invitation for a full makeout session, but nope. I dropped the ball.

We head back to the pudding wrestling because she wants to, but the nights over. I don’t know why I wasted our time. After that, we went to a random house party where she kinda knew the people living there. She started talking to this dude she knew and I felt out of place so I left.

She asked me at one point, “Should I be leaving with you…?”” And I simply said, “No, stay.” I think my ego was bruised at this point because she was paying more attention to this guy than me, but there is this feeling inside me that I just didn’t care if she came back to my place or not. Maybe I am just not attracted to her like that.

Maybe it’s, like I said before, that I was looking more forward to seeing Ava Devine get blasted with two dicks than actually bringing a girl home myself.

Sad.

*****

SO HERE WE ARE AT A NEW WEEK!

Routine-wise, I hope to pick up where last week left off. I have been exercising, meditating, and writing rhymes every morning/afternoon, depdending on when I wake up. I want to add a little running at some point – that’ll happen this weekend and eventually, move my meditation up to 30 minutes. Twenty minutes feels so short!

Most importantly though, I want to put down the porn for a little while. I don’t watch it nearly as much as I used to, but I still feel like it ruins my experiences when I go out. A once a week binge would be good.

The problem is, that I don’t get excited about sex. I get nervous about it, because I am not sure if I’ll be good in bed or not. For porn however, since I am not dependent on anyone, I am totally in control.

Ah, I’m thinking too much again. I need to assume that I’ll always perform well, and enjoy sex as sex. Live in the present moment, motherfucker.

One day it’ll click for me, you’ll see!

In Which We Ate Mushrooms…

“I experiment with things [psychedelics] that are usually an internal experience, because that’s just what excites me. And yes, it does sometimes give me visions…” – Tori Amos

Awwwww…

I missed a day.

But I’m not too mad at myself. I do wish I had lasted a lot longer, but 24 days in a row is a pretty great streak.

I had planned on writing after I got home from the bar last night, but I was busy.

I spent the day on Saturday being a lazy bum. I had meant to go to zazenkai, but for some reason decided against it and instead read some books, watched some wrestling and slept. It’s funny how the cold outside ruins my motivation to do a lot of things.

I almost contemplated not going out, too. It was PartyGirls’ birthday, and the people that were supposed to give me a ride canceled on me, so that meant I would have to take the bus. I did not want to have to take the bus.

Still, it was my good friends birthday, I really had no choice but to go.

I arrived around 10:30pm at the top 40 club. I had a good time overall, saw some people I hadn’t seen in awhile, and acclimated myself to a top 40 club, which I hadn’t been to in awhile. LOADS of fly women that I didn’t talk to.

Around midnight I realized that I didn’t have a ride home and decided to leave. PartyGirl and her boyfriend were leaving too, so I didn’t feel too bad. I caught a taxi home, put some more wrestling on, and went to bed.

While I was in bed, I sent a few texts out to the redhead, and HipsterGirl, a girl that I had a one night stand with back in November, but we have remained friends. She had told me to get at her this weekend, so I sent her a text on a whim, asking if she wanted to head to after hours. She said, “sure.”

I got out of bed, reluctantly I might add, and headed down to the bar, where it was last call. When I got there, she was talking to the door man who is a cool dude. I paid no attention, grabbed a beer and sat down for a little.

After I finished my beer, we headed to after hours. She ran off and talked to some other dude , and I talked to these other girls that I knew. I was pretty nonchalant the whole time, just really enjoying myself.

At this particular after hours, there is always this girl that is totally in love with me and has been ever since college, but I don’t think she is very attractive and she is also engaged to be married. Still, I think that she is a very nice person.

Anyways, HipsterGirl and I link up again at after hours and strike up some conversation. At one point, I tell her that I have mushrooms. She suggeststhat we go back to my place and eat them.

Sure, I say.

Now, I was tipsy when I agreed to make this decision. In hindsight, it probably wasn’t the best to make-mushrooms are a very serious drug to do, if this girl freaked out, it would have been a TERRIBLE time, not everyone can keep their shit under control like me. After all, I don’t know her that well.

Anyways, I had nothing to worry about, we had a great time.

I didn’t try anything, not because it was weird since we are on mushrooms, but because I have been hesitant these past couple of days-I don’t know what it is. First with the redhead at the theater, and now with HipsterGirl while we are on mushrooms. I’m just going to have to get over this headspace that prevents me from being as good as I’d like to be.