Tag Archives: leo babauta

Smile, Breathe, and Go Slowly

“Smile, breathe, and go slowly.”—Thich Nhat Hanh,

Lots to say here, my head is swimming!

I just got done searching for a new job, and while seraching through Monster, what did I find? The job that I applied for a month ago, and had been told by my little birdie inside that I was going to get.

I was sad, but only for a little while.

This could all really be a blessing. I have enough money to survive for a month, maybe even longer. I might even be able to survive on a part-time job if I am smart with my money. In the meantime, I want to start looking for a job that I want to do.

Originally, I quit my job because I HATED the management, but the truth is that I had become bored with my job. Ever since I graduated college I have worked at these meaningless data-entry jobs that have gotten me nowhere. Sure, they paid the bills and allowed me to live comfortably, but they weren’t very fulfilling at the end of the day and oftentimes I’d become depressed.

I have put some thought into the kind of word that I want to do.

First and foremost, I want to go to graduate school to get my masters in Library Science, so that is something I am going to work on in the coming weeks. In the meantime however, I want to work in a library. Libraries don’t pay too much money, and the competition is pretty scarce here, but I think I’m going to volunteer just to fill up my time.

I also have been thinking about working from home.

I have no idea how to go about this, though. I see spam mail all of the time, “EARN $50 dollars a day doing NEXT TO NOTHING!” But I know that is too good to be true. I know that earning money online is going to be hard work and will likely take training of some sort. It’s something I am going to research in my free time during the next couple of days.

I read a good bit of Leo Babauta’s Power of Less today.

He talks about putting the Power of Less into practice through having One Goal. I wrote down a list of goals I would like to accomplish, and picked out the one that was the most important to me.

I want to develop skills that will allow me to become better with women.

He says to pick a goal that will take six months to a year to complete. On average, this goal could take as many as three years to complete. However, I think after a year, I will have had remarkable success if I keep on task.

Now I need to break that one goal into a subgoal. A subgoal is one that I can accomplish in the next month or two.

Conquer Approach Anxiety (for the most part).

Fuck getting laid, fuck getting makeouts, fuck getting numbers even, I am going to just try to not become a nervous wreck whenever I step into a social setting. I will never become successful if I don’t at least do that.

Now I need to break this down into a weekly goal.

Go out three nights per week, and open three different groups of women per night.

It doesn’t matter if I get blown out, or don’t know what to say, or even if they don’t talk to me, I am going to do this until I no longer feel uncomfortable opening women. That is the first step.

Tomorrow, I will write about my three projects.

I know I say a lot of things on this blog and go in a lot of different directions, sometimes unexpectedly, that’s because I am often fickle and confused. I feel myself being pulled in many different directions. Sometimes I feel swamped from it all.

I need to remember to keep things as simple as possible and live in the present moment.

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The Best Year of My Life (part 4)

I contemplated shutting down this blog today.

I wasn’t planning on shutting it down completely, but merely moving all of the posts to private status. I had a crisis where I became paranoid that someone I know might happen upon this blog. I also questioned the point of this blog-do I really need to have an anonymous blog? Couldn’t I just do the same thing with a personal journal (which I have) or in a word document?

This is a question I am going have to answer over the next couple of days.

The pros to having a public but anonymous blog this are: 1.) I am stating my goals in a public avenue, so that anyone reading can post here and say, “what the f are you doing?” and 2.) I can get advice from complete strangers.

I really don’t talk too bad about anyone on this blog, so if I were to be found out I don’t think it’d be that big of a deal. It’d be more of an issue about how weird I am!

I read a good bit of Leo Babauta’s The Power of Less today.

He talks a good deal about simplifying and putting limitations on what you do in order to be able to accomplish more. Mr. Babauta argues that in a world of multi-tasking, too many people are not getting anything done, because they are trying to get too much done. In the process of trying to get 20 things done at one time, tasks get diluted or abandoned altogether. Focusing on doing a few things and doing them well, is much more effective.

This is exactly my problem.

Therefore, I am going to eliminate some goals from the Best year of My Life list, many of which I plan on coming back to later. Babauta suggests trying to one goal at a time, for 30 days, since it takes 30 days to become a habit.

Without further ado:

Let’s first look at the list of goals overall and see which ones are left or have been amended:

1. Write on this blog everyday
2. Cut down on watching porn
3. Meditate Everyday
4. Exercise/Eat healthy

5. Apply for new job/Graduate School
6. Meet More Women
7. Learn How to Drive
8. Finish Rap Album
9. Better Management of $$$

Leo talks about breaking things down to the essential and non-essential. he suggests breaking things down to one goal at a time, starting with the most important first. If I were to break it down to ONE GOAL that affects me most in my life, it’d be WOMEN.

Not having women, for as long as I can remember, has been the #1 tried and true source of disappointment in my life. Tyler Durden says, “If you do not have women actively in your life, you are failing at one of your core purposes.”

This is not to say that I would like to have wild orgies with 2 or 3 women a night, but I think that having 1 or 2 women that I could spend time with on a regular basis is a highly reasonable goal. In order to be able to do this, I have to learn to be more aggressive and talk to women in public settings. Oftentimes, that means going to the bar, even if I have to go alone.

So, I am going to start with Develop Attraction Skills, renamed from Meet More Women because that isn’t necessarily what I’m trying to do.

1. Deveop Attraction Skills

I had a life first this past weekend.

I hung out with two different girls on consecutive days. One might even go as far as to call them “dates.”

It’s a great feeling, going from so many years of absolutely loneliness to hanging out with two different girls on two different nights.

Still, there is much work to be done.

Now when I was out at the bar, did I make a concerted attempt to meet more women?

No I did not.

My goal, first and foremost, is to get over my approach anxiety, which seems to have taken on a life of its own in my head. In fact, it is a monster that I can picture now, it is purple blob named Bob. I am closing my eyes, and imagining myself pouring cold water over Bob, which makes the blob dissolve and kill Bob.

In my mind, I have conqured approach anxiety. I just need to go out and show the world that I have conquered it.

I am going to go out three times this week. One night will be either tomorrow or Wednesday with Hero. Then probably Thursday and a weekend night. If I don’t open, I DON’T want to kill myself over it. First and foremost, I want to have a GREAT time. It sucks going home depressed as all fuck because I didn’t do what I came out to do in the first place. Hmm… maybe that is why I should open!

2. Learn How to Drive

I have scheduled my drivers test for February 7th, but it will have to be pushed back since Hero will be out of town. I am getting in some practice tomorrow with Hero, and will continue to do so 2-3 times a week until the test. I really already know how to drive, it is just a matter of learning how to parallel, which is kind of hard now since there are all of these snow banks on the road.

3. Look for New Job

A necessity now because I am unemployed. I must say that I am enjoying being unemployed a little more than I’d like to be. Sure it gets boring, . I want to take this time to secure a job in the direction I want to go in-which is library science. However, I am also drawn towards work at home opportunities. This task occupies the waking moments of every weekday now.

4. Better Management of $$$

Budgeting always will be a absolute necessity of mine. I have been budgeting pretty dilligently as of late, especially since I don’t know where my next paycheck will come from.

5. Cut down on watching porn

For years, I thought I was addicted to porn because I spent so much time looking for and watching it- I am talking 3 to 4 hours of my day, easy.

For a long time, I would go through spurts where I would watch a TON of porn, then feel guilty and stop for 2 or 3 days, then go right back into it. This past June, I stopped watching (and masturbating) for over thirty days, before regressing to my old ways.

But now, things are different.

I only allow myself to watch at the end of my day, after everything is done. I have also made watching a ritual. I pick a scene to watch, and I watch the whole scene, usually 30 or 40 minutes. I practice my stalin technique and kegel exercises in the meantime.

Oftentimes, I am too tired to sit down and dedicate 30-40 minutes to porn. Other times, I just don’t have the desire to watch anymore. I think this is due to me having ladies in my life, but also because I would be accountable for it in this blog.

6. Write on this blog everyday

Yeah, I missed a day.

That day was an exception, not the norm, and I have worked hard to keep writing consistently. After missing once, it’s  is very easy for me to say to myself, “who cares? I can miss again!”

I believe that posting everyday like this is very beneficial and I will continue to do so throughout the year. Let’s just hope I am not discovered!

A few words about the crossed out tasks.

3. Meditate Everyday
4. Exercise/Eat healthy

5. Graduate School
8. Finish Rap Album

It’d be stupid to say that I have just given up on these goals. I mean, who DOESN’T want to Exercise and Eat Healthy? It’s just that right now, I am focusing on other goals, and when those goals have converted into habits, I will work on these goals.

That’s not to say that if I wake up in the morning, and I feel like I need to meditate, that I won’t do it. What I am saying is that I am going to be the most focused on the six (actually, really four) goals listed above.