Tag Archives: natural tim

Life as a Spectator

In the long run men hit only what they aim at. Therefore, though they should fail immediately, they had better aim at something high. – Henry David Thoreau

I woke up today with a feeling of dread. As I tossed around in my bed for an hour or two and thought about my life, I came to the conclusion that there are two kinds of people in this world, “spectators” and “performers.” My friends, I am a spectator.

I can sit around all day and watch other people do things. I can watch my favorite team play football on the television, I can watch people having sex in adult videos, I can listen to rappers talk about the great lives they have etc. etc.. In my own personal life, I can watch my start working on a skill, they can learn to start dj’ing, or they can start. I can watch them fail, I can watch them succeed, but in the end I am always watching and end up saying, “I wish I had their life,” for better or worse.

Yesterday was Saturday, my last night out in my marathon of going out, spanning four nights.

I wish I could say, that last night was better than the last, because I finally got off my ass and did what I intended to do when I went out, but the fact is, I can’t. Sure, last night was better than Friday night, I didn’t text anyone and didn’t ruin any potential relationships.

But it still was a rather “blah” night.

After the previous night, I resolved that I wasn’t going to go out, I was going to stay inside and relax, which I hadn’t done since this past Tuesday night. Around 9pm, I changed my mind, telling myself that I have to go out if I want to get better. If I ever want to become the true social butterfly that I want to become, I have to go.

My roommate was spinning at after hours.

I decided that I would forgo going out for regular bar hours. I would instead relax until around 2 AM then head over. Around 10 o’clock King Lear comes over, and while watching the 40 year Old Virgin, I tell him, “we should go get a case.”

We go down to the beer distributor only to find that it’s closed. I tell him, “shit, might as well just go to the bar.”

We go to the bar and end up talking to these two girls. The (cuter) Indian girl my friend had been talking to off and off for quite awhile. The other girl was pretty cool, and I thought we were hitting it off, but at some point she moved away from me.

The conversations I engage in always seem canned. I feel like I’m always at a loss for words to say or to make the conversation move forward. No matter how many conversations I get into, I always end up doing the resume routine. “Oh, what do you do?” “What do you do in your free time?” BORING!

It’s not even that I am uninteresting. I think that I am one of the most interesting people that I know. It’s just that, right now, I am having a difficult time presenting that interesting person within the first 30 seconds-2 minutes of meeting a person.

Next week, I am going to resolve to break the resume chain. I was listening to Natural Tim last week and he says that he interrupts and says, “hey, I think [whatever the current subject is] is cool, but I don’t really want to talk about that right now. Let’s have fun!” Then I’ll have to figure out what we’d have to do to have fun.

Overall, I feel inhibited, scared even, when I am out in social situations. It’s like there is a voice in the back of my head that prevents me from doing what I want to do. I have to get rid of this voice because it is grossly impeding my progress.

After the bar, we went to after hours. There was NO ONE there. We drank, went to the diner at around 6am. Then I came home and slept.

Today is the end of my extended Christmas vacation.

I know that a lot of my posts have been dealing with PUA material, or just a basic rundown of my bar life. Expect a change in material over the course of the week, until well, the weekend comes again.

I think that this blog has been immensely helpful the past couple of days. It has kept me productive and makes me more conscious of things as I go throughout my day.

I am going to make a pledge to post on this blog everyday. I am also going to make a pledge to be absolutely honest in every post. I read over some of the posts I write, and I think to myself, “wow, this guys sounds like a whiny boy, why doesn’t he get off of his ass and just DO the things he talks about doing everyday?”

It’s hard for me to read over some of my posts, I feel embarassed about them, but in the end, if I ever want to become a better person, this will help me.

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The Art of Drunk Texting

“I can say whatever I want, to whoever I want, whenever I want, wherever I want, however I want…” – Eminem

I am not proud of my actions last night.

It started off badly. I lost a sack of herb somewhere in my room and spent an hour plus looking for it. The sack is still at large.

My friend, “King Lear” and I, arrive at the bar at 9pm. I am in great spirits even though I just lost sixty bucks worth of product.

King Lear didn’t have any money so I would be footing the bill tonight. The bar we go to is the one where our friend works and we regularly get a crazy discount. We arrive at 9 P.M.

Nothing of consequence really happens the whole night, we take a LOT of shots. chat with some friends, some girls, but nothing *too* aggressive. There was a girl with HUGE boobs that I wanted to talk to, but didn’t.

Anyways, dejected, I leave paying a $54 tab for the evening. Not too shabby for five hours of drinking.

Except at this point, I get it into my mind that it is time to start drunk texting! Commence the shit show!

I had been listening to Tim’s Flawless Natural program at work over the past week and remembered that he messaged girls that didn’t respond to him with the simple text message: “you are shit.” I was drunk, I thought this was a great idea, so I messaged like three girls with this message. Of course I get messages back that say, “don’t ever talk to me again,” “goodbye, asshole.” Basically, they all tell me that I am a wonderful human being.

I know that I some exchange of words after that, but my recollection is hazy. I can’t look at my sentbox to see what I sent because at some point, I must have realized that I was drunk texting and proceeded to delete all of the girls numbers I was drunk texting. Then I emptied out my sentbox and inbox.

Now, I can’t even say “hey, I’m sorry” because I don’t remember the numbers. I am not sure I would say sorry anyways, I  would probably try to play it off and say I meant to type “you are THE shit.”

Meanwhile, I have inadvertently started off 2009 with a clean slate. Nope, no more girls of 2008, 2009 chicks will be all new baby!

King Lear and I moved onto after hours, where our one boy was dj’ing. This is where I did most of my text messaging. I spent a large portion of the night sitting on a bench and sending them out. Around 3 A.M. my ex-girlfriend, The One, started texting me, and this started a whole new round of texting. This exchange wasn’t mean at all, but it was just simply unnecessary.

I do feel embarrassed, but I’m smiling as I sit here typing this. I am not angry at myself because this is not something I do all of the time. I simply need to learn not to be outcome dependent and have the most fun possible in the present moment, even when I am shitfaced drunk. If I were to see any of these girls in person, I would sincerely apologize, and would understand if they don’t want to talk to me. I would even understand if they hit me or spilled a drink on me, which would be a first for me and hey, I’m all about new experiences!

They are just girls that I was not emotionally attached to. There are many more fish in the sea, and I will just move on.