Tag Archives: spy

The Fine Art of Going Out Alone

“Solitude, the feeling and knowledge that one is alone, alienated from the world and oneself-is not an exclusively Mexican characteristic. All men, at some moment in their lives feel themselves to be alone. And they are. To live is to be seperated from what we were in order to approach what we are going to be in the future. Solitude is the profoundest fact of the human condition.” ~ Octavio Paz

I went out alone tonight.

It was Fat Tuesday and I had committed to going out a long time ago. Even after my first day back at my old job, I was convinced that I was going to go out. I have had this thing lately where I actually keep my commitments rather than being the generally flaky guy I normally am.

Still, it wasn’t easy. It was cold outside, and I missed my original bus which I thought was supposed to come at 10:50. As the clock struck 11:15, I decided to head back inside. It was 20 degrees outside, I would wait until the next one came indoors. The next bus came at 11:47, I hopped on it and took the 20 minute bus ride to the bar.

In the back of my mind on the bus ride was the question, “how am I going to get home?” I’d already answered this question in my head: if BartenderMan or Hero are there, ask them for a ride, if not, leave early and take a taxi.

It was really a simple and pragmatic solution. Sometimes I dwell on stupid shit. I’ve found that consistent daily meditation helps remove a lot of needless thoughts (overthinking).

I hadn’t been to a top 40 bar in awhile. I was calm but uncomfortable, the calmness aided by me taking an adderall. The uncomfortable is how I usually feel when I walk into a bar alone. Having a friend to lean on and talk to can be a real crutch when trying to do this PUA shit.

I mean, it’s a totally different experience because you don’t necessarily have anyone to talk to in the most social setting of them all. Some people who go to the bar alone sit in a stool and stare at a TV for hours on end, I’VE BEEN THERE! Lately however, I have struck up conversation with at least one stranger.

I walked into the bar and immediately got complimented on my hair by some dude, then some girl, totally unrelated. I tried striking up conversation with the girl, but it turned out the dude and the girl went to the same HS. After about five minutes, I was just the guy in the middle being ignored, trying to get a drink. The one dude had the LOUDEST voice, I was envious.

“Speak from your diaphragm!” He said.

I eventually said, fuck this shit and go upstairs. I open this one girl, but she is preoccupied because the guy she is with is talking to another girl. I should have been like, “fuck all that shit, I’m your guy tonight.”

As a side note, this was the wackest party in terms of Mardi Gras. First off, I went to college and went to PLENTY of Mardi Gras parties. In college, there would be PLENTY of indecent exposure at those parties whether you had beads or not, you would at least see a titty or something. Not the case tonight!

That’s not to say that naked women with beads was what I was looking for tonight. I actually think the concept of giving a girl a bead because she has lifted up her t-shirt or because she will make out with you is low grade prostitution, and while I’m not against prostitution by any means, I feel like I could save the $20 I would spend on beads and use it to get head from a street whore 3 blocks from where I live.

Anyways, lots of hot ladies running game on guys getting beads in exchange for good conversation from what I saw. Cool. I was inside my head a lot tonight, but I still managed to talk to a few ladies. Some lady I opened thought it was the green light for her to start talking about my hair like two minutes into the conversation, then her and her friend ran their hair through my shit. “Now where are MY beads?” I thought. Sheit.

The night ended by chatting up the coat check girl who actually works with Hero and Spy on occassion. She called me Kid and Play and I busted on her for it. There was no sexuality at all to the conversation, and she apologized for calling me that-I have an afro, not a high-top!

I left a little after 1:30 to ensure that I could catch a cab home. THREE cab drivers drove past me and opened their doors to people that were further down the street than me. When the fourth pulled up, I told him about this, and I told him I was mad at myself because I am just not aggressive enough while those people were.

“No, it’s because you are Black.” He told me.

He went on a diatribe about how he had been robbed three times, all by Black males. “You have a more educated look to you though, Leigh. But a lot of cab drivers don’t see that.”

That made me kind of sad. I understood where he was coming from, but I was still sad.

*Shrugs*

I can’t change the color of my skin. If a cab driver doesn’t want my money, I’ll find one who will!!!

***

So, what did I learn tonight?

The main lesson is that going out alone isn’t that bad. Ultimately, I am going to have to cut down on going out with King Lear, and venture out on my own. This weekend will likely be the first!

Inactive for Super Bowl Weekend

“It is better to do the wrong thing than to do nothing.” – Winston Churchill

Whoa.

The Super Bowl was crazy.

EVERYTHING was discombobulated because of Super Bowl weekend, which I shouldn’t have let happen, but it did. Better planning is needed.

Let’s start at Thursday:

I went to 80’s night, which I went to by myself. Hero, Spy, and their friend Voodoo who I hadn’t seen in forever showed up later in the evening.

I spent most of the night talking to LeaderGirl, while Hero hollered at her friend, HippieGirl, which he had much more success with than I did. By much more success, I mea he was making out with her on the bench, even as LeaderGirl was like, “no you guys shouldn’t be making out.”

I eventually decided to stop being a pussy and got Leader’s number, but not before she went off and hollered at the bartender later in the night. I texted her a couple times over the weekend, but got no response. I deleted her number from my phone this morning.

Went to after hours and caught up with the old crew. We were pretty much the only people there.

Friday:

Went to the bar with King Lear, but not until late in the night, around midnight.

Somehow, in those two hours, I got wasted drunk, but still hobbled on over to after hours, with Slim, an old friend who was visiting. He started talking to a friend of mine, and I started talking to her friend. I was pretty wasted drunk, but I was still functioning somehow. At some point I blacked out, I didn’t get the girls number, my friends were gone, and the place was closing.

The next Slim said she was pretty homely looking. I checked her out on Facebook only to concur from her main pic, but she looked alright when done up. I befriended her, but haven’t said anything to her, I am still undecided whether I will pursue or not.

Actually, decision made: I won’t. Well, unless I see her in public again.

Saturday:

I was pretty tired from the previous night, but I still went rollerskating. Well, before that I went out for my friends birthday at some vegetarian restaurant. The food sucked. There were some hot girls there, but I was seated at the table with only my friend and the Puerto Rican girl he is seeing now.

I took the bus home, then headed over to rollerskate. I wasn’t in a great mood, and it took me FOREVER to get my skates on. I was inside my head the whole night and basically just watched Slim get his holler on.

PartyGirl and her friends came through later in the night and we hung out, but for the most part this wasn’t a very notable night. Some girl stole the pick out of my hair, but I didn’t find her very attractive, so I wasn’t very amused.

For the third night in a row, I went to after hours.

Sunday

Slim spent the night and we woke up pretty early because we drank a lot of Sparks and were still really wired once the alcohol wore off. Unable to sleep, we watched about half of Casablanca until we tried to sleep again. Later in the day, we linked up with Roommate and went to the bar to catch the Super Bowl.

Nothing notable happened here. There were some really hot girls, but mostly I just watched Slim do his thing. The game was great, but now that I am sitting here and reflecting on the game, it could have been much better.

I don’t know what happened this weekend. All I have to show for it is a less fat-wallet and a few okay nights to opine about. That it, no more drinking until I open at least one set of girls. I mean seriously, at the end of the day, drinking is a very empty activity. Drinking, by itself, doesn’t necessarily equal happiness or even fun. It can ADD ON to fun in certain situations, but many times it doesn’t or even worse, leads to very negative encounters.

I am really PISSED at myself after writing this. I am going to go HARD this coming week!