Tag Archives: teachergirl

My HERO!

“We can all be heroes in our virtues, in our homes, in our lives.” – James Ellis

So I went back to the bar I was at last Thursday. Why? Because I thought TeacherGirl would be there! I wanted to clear up any shit that might have been caused by King Lear. I also wanted to figure out if I had gotten a wrong number.

Yes, I know this was a stupid stupid idea. If she gave me a bad number, so what? MOVE ON! However, it perplexes me that she would do such a thing, I feel like I hit it off with her pretty well, and maybe she just dialed it wrong.

She wasn’t there tonight.

I’ll see her again, it’s Pittsburgh, but if I don’t, oh well. Next week, I might go back to 80’s night and see LeaderGirl. The only reason I didn’t go to see LeaderGirl tonight was because I had no cash on hand, and I risked overdrafting at the bar I went to tonight.

King Lear decided not to go tonight, which was one of the rare times I’ve been at this bar without him. I was messaging the dude desperately wanting him to come out because I didn’t want to go out alone. In the end, it wasn’t a big deal. There were no real targets at the bar, and really only his ex-girlfriend hit on me pretty aggressively, but I’m not interested in her at all. Not to say that she isn’t attractive because she is, but she went out with my good friend to the point that she LIVED with him, that is NOT a good idea by any definition of the word!

If anything, I should have gotten at Hero, who was undoubtedly out tonight. Shit, he goes out any night he’s not working. He doesn’t drink anything but water, and goes out with the sole purpose of picking up women, he is a TRUE PUA.

The problem with Hero is that I usually feel uncomfortable when I go out with him. If the place is not up to his standards of girls, and 9/10 times it isn’t, then we have to leave. Most times I do agree with him, there are not enough girls to faciliate opening, but there is definitely work to be done, and oftentimes, we still stand there and do nothing.

Still, sometimes I just want to chill, get comfortable, and see what happens. He doesn’t drink so this is not an option for him. He is die hard. I admire him for this, I really do. If PUA was an army, he’d be first infantry, right there out on the front lines blasting at whomever, not giving a fuck if he died.

I realize that sitting and chilling is not conducive to PUA, and I think that in some ways I am not cut out to be one. Ultimately, all I really want to do is to be able to talk to females and elicit attraction more often than not. I want to get in touch with my core masculine identity and have a consistent roster of girls that I can get in touch with. A byproduct of this is that I will be able to talk to males and females that I’m not interested in.

Hero thinks this is stupid, he is not trying to befriend guys or ugly girls, he is just trying to fuck hot chicks. Sometimes I think that goes against him, because I feel like there is this weird aura that goes around him, that says, “fuck you, I only want your hot chicks!” Whereas with me, I say, “hey if you’re a cool and don’t smell, we can chill and talk, no problem. If you have hot girls around you though, I MUST talk to them.” I don’t make PUA the end all be all of a night, I just try to have the most fun I think that I can possibly have, and sometimes that is after only talking to maybe one girl.

By the way, I’m not trying to paint Hero as a villain or anything, I am just trying demonstrate how our minds our different in the way we go about things. We started PUA at the same time, and by far he has had the most succeess, no disputing that. Still, I feel that I have to have my own journey, as he has to have HIS own journey.

Hero is actually planning to move to Vegas, which is an idea I planned two years ago. He wants to go there for strictly PUA. Jeffy from RSD says that there is no better place on Earth to open women. My idea was to go there just because I think it would be a unique experience-I don’t think you could anywhere in the world that would be like Las Vegas. At first, I’ll admit, I was jealous and tried to discourage him from making this decision, but shortly into the conversation, I realized my wrongdoing and began encouraging him to make this move in his life.

Seriously, I wish him the best of luck, but Hero is so smart I’m sure he won’t have much of a problem. In a way, I am sad because if he’s gone, and Roommate and Crafton don’t really go out anymore, and King Lear is out of commission most nights because he has a girlfriend, then that means I will be going out solo a lot this summer.

Maybe this will be the kick in the butt that I need!

All in all, GREAT times ahead, my friends!

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The Lights Go Out and the Ball Gets Dropped

“I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.” – Marilyn Monroe

Last Wednesday night, the electricity here went out for a good 18 hours. There were hurricane like winds and I guess shit got blown out.

Obviously, I wasn’t able to post for a day or two. However, even afterward, I was out of the habit, and it’s taken me this long to get back on the horse.

Since we’re looking at the past, let’s look at how the past weekend went:

Thursday

I got bored sitting at home with no electricty, so I went over to King Lear’s. Toegether, we were bored out of our minds and decided that we should take advantage of the relatively good weather and take a stroll across town. He brought his camera and we had an adventure. We saw some people we knew, met some new people, checked out a few lesser known sites of the city, it was all around a good time.

Around 8:45 we headed to the bar.

Nothing of note really happened, outside of TeacherGirl making an appearance. I had met TeacherGirl last week and thought I really hit it off with her, but when I called texted her at the number she gave me later that night,  it was the wrong digits.

When she said hello, I didn’t mention the wrong number because maybe I’ve read too many PUA texts and generally they said that would be a bad idea. Still, I had a hard time masking that I was angry at her, so much so that she came back later and said that I seemed angry at her. I told her, “no, not at all.” This was a complete lie, because of course my feelings were hurt. But that was how I WANTED To feel.

It’s hard to put the ego down sometimes. It feels like, no matter how hard I try, I am still very much attached to this world. The point is to stop trying, the enlightened buddhist might say. I am thinking too much.

Anyways, I tried to chat her up, but after like a minute she interrupted and told me she had to go. Very awkward exchange. Part of it is because King Lear was rude to her. The next day I pondered whether she had just been in error in giving me the number or whether she had intentionally given me the wrong number. If the number she typed in was error, then she was probably pissed that I never called.

I guess I’ll never know. If I see her again, I COULD confront her about it, but even if she did, she’d probably deny it, and I’d get the number out of pity.

I am THINKING too much. Fuck, I am a chode. I am going to assume good faith, and if I ever do see her again, tell her that I think she mistyped her number into my phone and that’s why I never called. It’s honest and non-accusatory, I like it.

We went to after hours later and somehow made it like 14 hours of drinking constantly. I had a nice buzz going, but I wasn’t drunk because I didn’t want to repeat last week.

****

Friday:

I didn’t go out on Friday for the second week in a row. It’s hard when you put in Thursdays like that. Not this week though, I am going to do all three days this weekend.

****

Saturday:

I went out by myself.

No one I roll with wanted to go out, and I had stuff to do until around 11-11:30, so I went to a nearby bar where my friends were spinning and they had *gasp* a pudding wrestling competition.

Now, there are a number of a reasons a pudding wrestling competition doesn’t appeal to me. Firstly, I went to college and I was in a frat, so I’ve seen many pudding/jello/plain wrestling competitions in my day. Secondly, in an over-sexualized society where I can see Ava Devine get blasted in her vagina and her asshole at the same time with a few clicks of the mouse, something as tame as a pudding wrestling competition isn’t going to do anything for me. Lastly, I go out to talk to girls, and pudding wrestling didn’t strike me as a place to talk to women.

I stayed until the first round was over then I headed to another bar.

I ran into HipsterGirl at the next bar. HipsterGirl is the one I ate mushrooms with not too long ago. I come in just as her friends are leaving. We talk for awhile about whatever.

She tells me at one point, “I really like hanging out with you…” while staring into my eyes, which would have been any self-respecting man’s invitation for a full makeout session, but nope. I dropped the ball.

We head back to the pudding wrestling because she wants to, but the nights over. I don’t know why I wasted our time. After that, we went to a random house party where she kinda knew the people living there. She started talking to this dude she knew and I felt out of place so I left.

She asked me at one point, “Should I be leaving with you…?”” And I simply said, “No, stay.” I think my ego was bruised at this point because she was paying more attention to this guy than me, but there is this feeling inside me that I just didn’t care if she came back to my place or not. Maybe I am just not attracted to her like that.

Maybe it’s, like I said before, that I was looking more forward to seeing Ava Devine get blasted with two dicks than actually bringing a girl home myself.

Sad.

*****

SO HERE WE ARE AT A NEW WEEK!

Routine-wise, I hope to pick up where last week left off. I have been exercising, meditating, and writing rhymes every morning/afternoon, depdending on when I wake up. I want to add a little running at some point – that’ll happen this weekend and eventually, move my meditation up to 30 minutes. Twenty minutes feels so short!

Most importantly though, I want to put down the porn for a little while. I don’t watch it nearly as much as I used to, but I still feel like it ruins my experiences when I go out. A once a week binge would be good.

The problem is, that I don’t get excited about sex. I get nervous about it, because I am not sure if I’ll be good in bed or not. For porn however, since I am not dependent on anyone, I am totally in control.

Ah, I’m thinking too much again. I need to assume that I’ll always perform well, and enjoy sex as sex. Live in the present moment, motherfucker.

One day it’ll click for me, you’ll see!

Numbers Don’t Mean Shit

“Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it’s a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from.” – Al Franken

Last night, I got blacked out drunk.

Not good.

The day started off on a good foot. I woke up, meditated, ate breakfast, and accomplished everything I wanted to get done on my list. Earlier in the day, King Lear committed towards going out. Cool.

We took the bus down to the bar and proceeded to drink our faces off. It’s hard drinking with King Lear, he is twice my size and has a much higher tolerance than me.

Still, I managed to talk to this girl for a long time. Teacher was a cute girl, I thought we hit it off pretty well. I opened her by making a funny face at her and telling her to come over to where I was sitting.

I have this thing where I tease girls about stuff and that is my way of being flirtatious. I teased her about being a rich girl that teaches in a rich school district. That didn’t work too well. It’s because I’m being someone that I’m not. When I hang out with my friends, I don’t tease them about dumb shit. I just need to be a nice person. In the end, I got her number, but it ended up being the wrong one. Oh well.

Lesson learned: Numbers really don’t mean shit.

At least I can say that I’ve been consistently getting numbers  this year, I have gotten four so far. This surpasses my whole output from last year, so I am proud of myself.

Anyways, we left the bar and went to after hours, the second I entered the door, I blacked out. The next thing I remember is waking up the next day with a blistering headache. Apparently, I told the guy who drove us over that I had forgotten my keys and went out to his car and sat in it until they came out an hour later. His keys were in the car door.

I’m going to have to calm down on the shots when I roll with King Lear.